We’re Ending Hair Discrimination

https://www.thecrownact.com

“We’re Ending Hair Discrimination”
The CROWN Act was created in 2019 by Dove and the CROWN Coalition, in partnership with then State Senator Holly J. Mitchell of California, to ensure protection against discrimination based on race-based hairstyles by extending statutory protection to hair texture and protective styles such as braids, locs, twists, and knots in the workplace and public schools.

Black women are 1.5 times more likely to be sent home from the workplace because of their hair.

I have to change my hair from its natural state to fit in at the office.
Black women are 80% more likely than white women to agree with this statement.

Source: Dove CROWN Research Study (2019) conducted by JOY Collective in the U.S. among 2000 (1000 Black and 1000 White) Women, Age 25 – 64. All data tested at 95% confidence level.

Join the Movement
People should not be forced to divest themselves of their racial-cultural identity by changing their natural hair in order to adapt to predominantly white spaces in the workplace or in school.

https://www.thecrownact.com

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When Relationships Are Complicated with Parents.

• 

Many people with complicated parent relationships/situations struggle, feeling obligated, judged and pressured to get cards for parents during celebratory occasions.

I feel that society attempts to make adult children/children and survivors of abuse

feel like we have to forgive and give folx that harmed us another chance which is FALSE.

NOT forgiving someone, DOES NOT impede individuals from healing. Healing is the process towards working on the PTSD, anxiety, depression and anger etc.

You are ALLOWED to have boundaries and exclude individuals out of your life that harmed you, gaslights you, attempts to manipulate you or take advantage of you. Regardless of if the person[s] is a family member.

I do have a suggestion regarding cards,

if warm, mushy manufactured cards are

NOT the relationship/situation with your parent[s]. Purchase blank cards. I have several packs of blank cards with designs I like that can be used for neutral occasions.

I wrote a poem in the inside of blank cards for my mama and stepdad. My biological father, I’m not in a place to give him a card, call or text him for Father’s Day.

Black-Owned Bookstores You Can Shop Online.

https://www.cntraveler.com/story/black-owned-bookstores

As a Black-Native, Indigenous of Turtle Island. It’s important to me to stay connected to my race AND ethnicity. It’s important to me to continue lifelong learning about my roots directly from BIPOC. I celebrate #WinterSolstice and #Kwanzaa. I observe|mourn|remembrance|memorialize ALL Native Massacres (Pequot|Sand Creek|Dakota38+|Wounded Knee etc.

It’s Ok to not Feel like Celebrating the Holidays

Empath Health bereavement counselor Dwight Douglass offers these three simple tips:
1. Take control of the holiday or the New Year, so it doesn’t control you.
2. It takes more energy trying to avoid a holiday or planning for the New Year than actually creating a plan for how you wish to honor your loved one(s).
3. It’s O.K. to not feel like celebrating a holiday, but it’s important to find a way to honor it so you can still feel connected to your loved one(s).
Additionally, here are 10 things from AARP you can try:
1. Only do what feels right. It’s up to you to decide which activities, traditions or events you can handle.
2. Accept your feelings – whatever they might be. Everyone takes his or her own path in grief and mourning.
3. Call on your family and friends. Talk with loved ones about your emotions.
4. Focus on the kids. Many holidays place special attention on children, and it often helps to focus on their needs.
5. Plan ahead.…Create comforting activities in the weeks approaching a holiday so that you have something to look forward to rather than building up a dread of the pain the holiday could bring.
6. Scale back. If the thought of many holiday activities feels painful, overwhelming or inappropriate this year, cutting back may help.
7. Give. It’s amazing how in times of grief, sometimes the biggest comfort is to give to others.
8. Acknowledge those who have passed on. When we are grieving a loss of someone very close to us, it can be helpful to participate in a related holiday ritual in his or her memory.
9. Do something different.… Plan new activities, especially the first year after the loss.
10. Skip it. If you feel that it will be too much for you and you’d like to simply opt out of participation in a holiday, let family and friends know.

The Toxic Positivity Movement Won’t Help with My Depression

I scrolled through my regular “feed” after that and happened upon a random meme that stated something about always finding the positive in every single thing, that we are absolute masters of our thoughts and that we must ALWAYS CHOOSE POSITIVITY! My whole body went rigid with anger, because here I’d been vulnerable with people in expressing my depression and I was being confronted with the toxic positivity movement that basically tells me that my depression is my fault. If only I’d just control my thoughts, if only I could just think my way free of years of torment. If only I could just look at the bright side of everything and then I’ll be fine.

I reached out to my social media family and asked for memes and animal pictures today. I explained that my depression has made me grumpy and I was looking for some distractions. I’m happy to report that my friends did not disappoint. I received all manner of gifs, pet pictures & videos, hilarious memes, and a cute video of a dear friends kiddos wishing me a happy day. I felt quite loved and subsequently my depression lifted a smidge.

The great irony in this is that my default is to tend towards hope, it is to tend towards trying to find a silver lining, or the good in things. However, when I can’t, I can’t and I have learned to reach out in those instances. And though I get a temporary reprieve when I do reach out, this notion that if I just think myself into a more positive place that somehow makes me better is unrealistic. My reality demands that I deal with what’s going on, which sometimes entails being distracted by animals and The Office gifs, other times it means I sit quietly and cry or stare at the wall until I can move again.Depression doesn’t wait for you to decide to feel it. I think that’s what people don’t always understand about it. I could be going along doing okay for a few weeks or months even and then I will feel the familiar weight settle over me, a dark tinge to my every day routine, and then I’m in it. And once I’m in it, no amount of positive thinking is going to pull me out. Coming out of it requires time, patience, help, and being gentle with myself. I do understand that maybe for some they can keep a positive mindset at all times, but depression isn’t just a mindset. At least not for me. My depression is a whole body experience and requires a Herculean effort to just move from my bed to the couch on the really bad days.I believe that if you’re suffering with depression and you’re able to have even a tiny moment of laughter or feeling something other than dread- that’s an absolute win. It’s not all always in our control and it’s okay to feel all the things we feel. Our darkness makes others uncomfortable sometimes, but that’s for them to work out, it’s not for them to use to shame us into thinking more positively. My depressed brain needs acceptance and support, and so do so many others. If you’re someone who wants us to feel better, don’t tell us to think better, sit with us in the dark and crack the door open so a sliver of light can find its way in.

Resources

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.

https://themighty.com/2020/12/depression-toxic-positivity/

Disabled Parking Spaces and Ableism

December 1st, 2020

My experience with Domino’s Pizza, ableism and manipulation.

I arrived at my residence on November 21st, 2020 to find a Domino’s Pizza employee illegally parked in my assigned disabled parking space, which has my unit number on the sign. I told the Domino’s employee he was illegally parked and needed to move his vehicle. The rude, disrespectful and entitled Domino’s Pizza employee told me, I needed to wait. I told him, I would be calling the police. The Domino’s Pizza employee stormed off the porch of the tenant he was delivering to, recklessly backed into my vehicle and drove off.

Police and a courtesy patrol took statements and pictures of the damage to my vehicle. Several Domino’s Pizza locations in our area were called. I called Domino’s Pizza corporate who stated the 71st and Memorial location is assigned to my complex. The location is independently owned, I was told a member of management would call me. I went to the location Monday, November 30th, 2020. I allowed a staff member to have a copy of the Domino’s Pizza employee’s vehicle. He claimed that employee had to work at another location. I left my contact information. I received a call from someone claiming Domino’s Pizza employees are responsible for any damage they do, that it would be between me and the police to go after the employee for damages. He then asked what happened. I told him, he already made his alleged claim regarding liability and he could obtain a copy of the police report.

Domino’s Pizza is full of ableism and manipulation. They do not take responsibility for hiring individuals that drive reckless. Domino’s Pizza needs to be accountable. I will take Domino’s Pizza to small claims court. I requested the contact information to their legal department and never received it. Stop parking in parking spaces designated for individuals that are disabled.

Domino’s Pizza

7201 South Memorial Drive

Tulsa Oklahoma 74133

Domino’s Pizza

2222 East 61st Street

Tulsa Oklahoma 74136

Domino’s Pizza

2828 East 91st Street F

Tulsa Oklahoma 74137

Domino’s Pizza

8611 South Lewis Ave.

Tulsa Oklahoma 74137

Domino’s Pizza Corporate

30 Frank Lloyd Wright Drive

(734) 930-3030

Dear Doctors

Reposted by: @chronically_sick_
•••
I understand that doctors don’t know every answer. I don’t expect them to.

What I DO expect, is to be believed. To be validated, and supported.

This shouldn’t be too much to ask. All I am asking is for you to do your JOB.

This is what you signed up for. You are failing your patients if you are dismissing, or gaslighting them.

If the tests come back normal, do more. Refer them to someone else. If you don’t have the answer, keep referring them to other specialists.

If and when the results come back normal, do not blame it on anxiety. Do not say it is “all in their head.”

Why would we be asking for your help if we didn’t really need it?

Medical trauma is real. You have more of an impact on someone’s future than you can ever imagine.

I wish someone had taken the time to tell me that they believed me. That they were sorry I was going through this.

I wish that I didn’t have to defend myself every single time I see a doctor. I wish that I didn’t have panic attacks before every doctors appointment.

This all could have been avoided if you had just done your job.

Love,

A traumatized patient.

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